My mother passed away on February 15, 2013, just a few short months ago, and I miss her more than I ever dreamed I would. She wasn’t a perfect mother, just as I am neither a perfect mother, nor a perfect daughter, but she loved me the best she could, and that was good enough for me!
“There’s a story behind everything… but behind all your stories is always your mother’s story… because hers is where yours begins.” ― Mitch Albom
Mama, the quote above says it all… your story is the beginning of my story, but I’m not strong enough or ready to write your story yet, so, I settled on these acrostics to give a brief, though incomplete glimpse into your life… God alone, knows how much I love you.
Memories of you flood my mind… You were
Orderly — no house was cleaner
Tender as you wiped the tears from my eyes, often crying with me
Hurt — no one knew the pain you tried so desperately to hide
Exemplary — you worked so hard to be the best
Requiring far more of yourself than was humanly possible
Meting harsh judgment against yourself, you always felt like an
Outcast, and no matter what you did or how well you did it, it was never enough to
Measure up to your lofty requirements, as you struggled to climb every
Mountain before you, always
Yearning to love and be loved and accepted for who you were
Married at only 16, divorced and remarried again at 25
Oppressed by fear of failure, she
Masqueraded all her problems, she tried to be a better
Mother than the one that she had known
Afraid of losing everything
Mama loved us as much as she knew how, and now she is
Always in my heart, my beloved mama, the one that I love and adore
My mom struggled her whole life, worrying about what people thought of her. She grew up feeling as though she was never quite good enough, and she spent much of her adult life trying to be the best at everything she set her hand to… She tried to be the most dedicated employee at her job, excelling at every task she was assigned… She tried to be the best wife and mother, coming home every evening, after a long day at work, and preparing a good, healthy meal for us. We seldom had any fast foods, because Mom didn’t want to be like other mothers… She really wanted to be the best…
Mom, I believe that you’re in heaven now, and I want to give this gift to you. I know that in God’s presence there is fullness of joy, and I am certain that you can finally rest and be at peace now, knowing that you are loved with an everlasting love. I look forward to the day when I will see you again, but until then, I know that you are in God’s hands, and that’s the best place that anyone can be.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom — I love you!!!
Cheryl A. Showers